Stress Isn’t the Villain: Teaching Emotional Resilience to Teens

Walking my French bulldog Rufus one afternoon, a mom and her 8-year-old daughter stopped me. I waited for the usual “Can I pet him?” but instead, the mom said:

“She’s in speech therapy for a pretty bad stutter. Her assignment is to talk to strangers to practice. Could you listen for a minute?”

The kid’s eyes instantly welled up. I figured Rufus is the friendliest thing here, so I said, “Sure, you’ve got this. I’m not scary. And Rufus definitely isn’t.”

Cue the longest silence of my life. The mom didn’t swoop in. She didn’t fill the gap. She just let her daughter wrestle with the moment. After what felt like an eternity, the little girl pushed out a few halting words. Yes, she cried. No, she didn't say it perfectly. Yes, Her mom still lit up.

I walked away thinking: moms are superheroes, and growth is rarely comfortable.

Stress Isn’t the Villain (Even if Teens Wish It Was)

That street-corner moment reminded me of teaching right after COVID. My students were anxious about giving presentations, and I let them present just to me without the rest of the class. It worked, but later I wondered: did I help them stretch, or did I rob them of a growth moment?

We tend to frame stress as the Big Bad Wolf. But a moderate dose, eustress, is what makes athletes compete harder and musicians crush a performance. Without it, teens miss the “I did something hard” rush that builds confidence.

How to Teach Stress Without Just Saying “Don’t Stress”

When I teach stress now, I aim for these things:

1. Show Them Stress Has Flavors

Break down distress vs. eustress. I’ll put examples on the board, “bombing a test” vs. “nervous before a game” and have students sort their own situations. It stops stress from being one giant blob of “bad.”

2. Reframe Nerves as Excitement

We talk about how stress and excitement feel identical in the body,racing heart, sweaty palms. A quick exercise: have them recall a time they were nervous and turned out fine, then re-label that feeling as “ready.”

3. Practice Coping, Even the Wrong Way

Sometimes I run a game where students intentionally give terrible coping strategies (“Just ignore your homework forever!”) and then roast those ideas. It gets them laughing and thinking critically before introducing healthy tools.

4. Keep It Active

A short card game or movement activity where students must balance “too easy” vs. “too overwhelming” tasks makes the idea of the stress sweet spot click, way better than a lecture.

I'm talking about THIS STRESS GAME

Emotional Resilience Lesson

Bring Parents or Trusted Adults Into It

Stress management doesn’t stop at the classroom door. A simple assignment where students interview a parent or trusted adult about stress starts conversations families often want but don’t know how to have. Teens get to hear real stories (“The time Dad bombed a job interview”) and realize stress is universal, not a teen-only curse.

If you want a great resource for opening up that communication for parents try THIS Parent (POTA) Interview.

Parent Interview On Stress

The Takeaway

Stress isn’t something to eliminate, it’s something to navigate. Whether it’s an 8-year-old talking to a stranger, a teen presenting to their class, or any of us taking on a new challenge, that flutter in your stomach can be the sign you’re stepping up. And Rufus? He’s still convinced he’s a certified speech coach.

Teach On, Katie