Cyberbullying Today: What Every Teacher Needs to Know and Every Teen Should Feel Safe Talking About
- abigayleleedavis
- Jul 23
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 29
t used to be whispered gossip between classes and half-hidden giggles at lunch tables. Now, it’s anonymous DMs and group chats.
According to the Pew Research Center (2022), 59% of U.S. teens say they’ve been bullied or harassed online. And with the average 12-18 year old spending over eight hours a day on screens, cyberbullying isn’t rare or extreme. It’s the norm.
I haven’t been able to escape cyberbullying myself (and hey, that was back in the 2010s when all of this was still new!)
I remember stumbling across a Facebook post by my ex’s new girlfriend, full of exaggerated lies about me.
I remember finding out the person I’d been gushing to online, was actually his sister.
I remember crying in a bathroom stall after getting over 100 messages from a boy threatening to kill himself if I didn't come over right away…
The truth is, I wasn’t an exception. This was happening to everyone, everywhere. Cyberbullying doesn’t always show up as a big, dramatic crisis. It often lives in the quiet corners of a teen’s screen.
Today, teens don’t pass notes. They post memes.
What is Cyberbullying? Here Are The Key Terms For Teachers Need to Know.
I’m going to walk you through some of the important terms that even I didn’t know, before diving deep into research. It’s surprising how many creative ways people can be cruel to each other. Here’s exactly how I talk about cyberbullying in the classroom with this lesson.
Let’s start with some terms every parent, caregiver, and teacher should know.
Impersonation- Pretending to be someone else online to post embarrassing or harmful things.
This could mean creating a fake Facebook account and messaging others as if someone else. It could also involve using AI to manipulate someone’s voice or image into saying or doing something they never did. (A growing threat known as deepfakes.)
Outing (or Doxxing)- Sharing someone's secrets, private info, or photos without permission.
This looks like screenshotting a private message and sharing it in a group thread, or posting someone’s phone number or address online.
Sextortion and Blackmail- Pressuring someone to send personal content, then threatening to expose it.
Perhaps one of the most alarming stats: In just 18 months, the FBI investigated over 13,000 reports of sextortion among minors with at least 20 cases resulting in suicide. (FBI.gov, 2023) This serious crime disproportionately targets boys.
Cyberstalking- Constantly messaging, following, or watching someone online in a way that makes them feel unsafe.
Sending dozens of messages across platforms, tracking someone’s shared location, or commenting on everything they post…these are all examples of Cyberstalking.
Harassing (or Flaming)- Repeated, aggressive messages meant to hurt, embarrass or scare someone.
Just like offline bullying, online harassment is an aggressive form of insults, rumors, or threats publicly (in posts and comments) or privately (through DMs and text).
Exclusion- Leaving someone out of group chats, parties, or online games on purpose, and making sure they know it.
A teen finding out that their group of friends went out last night because they all shared the same photo on Instagram would be a form of Cyberbullying.
Trolling- Posting things just to provoke, upset, or get a reaction.
This might be commenting rude or sarcastic things on a peer’s TikTok video just to start drama, or replying with inside jokes meant to embarrass someone publicly.
Catfishing- Pretending to be someone else, to manipulate the targeted person.
A teen thinks they’re talking to a new friend or crush online, but the person behind the account is using a fake name and photos. Maybe even impersonating someone they both know.
"For me, the greatest fault would be to say I'm something I'm not." -Manti Te'o
Why Teaching Teens About Cyberbullying is Crucial
The internet isn’t the enemy, but misunderstanding it can turn our teens into strangers. When we take the time to learn the digital landscape they live in, we show we’re not trying to control it, we’re trying to understand it.
The platforms may change (Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Discord, or private gaming chats), but the impact stays the same: kids are being targeted, left out, or humiliated in ways that feel both inescapable and invisible to adults.
These kinds of moments might seem small, but they cut deep. The damage isn’t physical, it’s emotional. It’s about identity, belonging, and the sense that everyone is watching but no one is helping.
What Adults Need to Know and How to Respond Without Overreacting
Most kids won’t report cyberbullying to parents or teachers. They stay silent because above all else, they’re afraid they will lose their phone or social media. It’s what keeps them connected. They might even be confused because they aren’t sure if what they’re going through counts as ‘bullying’ and they don’t want to make it into a bigger deal.
Often cyberbullying doesn’t always look like bullying. It could be a passive-aggressive comment followed by an LOL or being excluded from a group chat. Even the bully might feel like a victim in some of these complex social situations.
So, how can you help?
1. Stay calm. Don’t panic, and don’t punish. Show curiosity over control. Ask open ended questions like:
“What happened next?”
“How did that make you feel?”
“Did anyone stand up for you?”
2. Don’t minimize or magnify the situation. Brushing it off can make teens feel unseen. Blowing it up can escalate tensions or cause anxiety. Do your best to understand the full picture before deciding next steps.
3. Document everything. Instruct teens to take screenshots of any threatening or harmful messages and posts before they disappear. This documentation is useful not only for understanding what’s happening but also for reporting incidents to schools or authorities if necessary.
4. Talk to your teens. Make trust a primary value in your home. Instead of focusing solely on consequences or enforcing strict rules, have ongoing conversations about privacy, kindness, and values. You don’t have to ban phones to protect your child. You just have to make sure they trust you enough to say when something isn’t okay.
If a kid can talk about it, they’re already winning.
For more helpful resources, visit these sites:
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